第七十三届奥斯卡颁奖晚会开场白

Steven Martin (MC)：Thank you very much. Thank you very much. You know, when they asked me, back in January, if I would host the Oscars, the first thought that came into my mind was, would there be enough time for my face lift to heal. And right now, all over the world, there are eight hundred million people watching us right now. And everyone of them is thinking the exact same thought – that we're all gay. But that is what is great about show business, it's a tolerant business. It's the most tolerant in the world. You have black people, white people, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, Christians, all working together. All because of a single common love: publicity. People say to me, “Steve, you're a Hollywood actor, you must be so separated from the world. How do you keep in touch with ordinary life?” Well it is possible, and it can be done. Like the other day I was having dinner at my house with Mel, Julia, Tom and Gwyneth. Now earlier Mel had called and wanted to bring a friend, you know, some guy who helps children. And I said, “Mel, let's just keep it names above the title.” And he understood and he was fine with that. And then Tom said, “You know, you just can't get decent sunglasses anymore.” And Julia said, “Well there's a great sunglasses shop in Beverly Hills.” So I said to Tom, “You know, the next time you have your drive drop your kids off at school, why don't you have him pick you up a pair of sunglasses?” And Tom said, “Well, I drop my kids off at school.” And I said, “What?” And then Tom said to Gwyneth that he loved Shakespeare in Love, and then Gwyneth said to Tom that she loved Cast Away, and then Julia said to Mel that she loved What Women Want, and Mel said to Julia that he loved Erin Brockovitch, and then it was late and they all went home. And I thought, this is what I've always dreamed about: dinner at home with friends where we discuss the arts. So I'm pleased to introduce our first presenter, one of the stars of Traffic, Catherine Zeta-Jones.

史蒂夫马丁（大会主席）：非常感谢。非常感谢。大家知道，当他们原来在一月份问我是否愿意主持奥斯卡颁奖晚会时，我首先想到的就是：不知是否够时间让我拉过面皮的脸复原。现在全球有八亿人在收看我们，就在此时此刻。他们每人都在想着同样的一个问题 — 我们都是同性恋。可是演艺事业的伟大之处就是：这是一行具容忍力的事业。是世界上最有容人之量的行业。黑人、白人、亚洲人、西班牙人、犹太人、基督徒都在一起工作，全部心怀同样的热爱：出名。人们问我：“史蒂夫，你是名好莱坞演员，一定与世界很隔离。你的日常生活是怎样的？”日常是有的，是可行的。正如一日，我在家里与梅尔、朱丽娅、汤姆、格温妮丝一起进餐。早些时候梅尔曾打了电话来说想带一个朋友过来，你知道，是要帮助儿童的某人。我于是说：“梅尔，有名气的才带过来。”他很理解，觉得没问题。然后汤姆说：“唉，再也买不到高档的太阳镜了。”于是朱丽娅说：“贝弗利山庄有家很不错的眼镜店。”然后我对汤姆说：“下回你的司机开车送孩子上学时，何不让他顺道载你去买副太阳镜？”汤姆说：“啊，我亲自开车送孩子去上学。”我于是说：“什么？”接着汤姆对格温妮丝说喜欢看她的《莎翁情史》，格温妮丝对汤姆说她喜欢他的《荒岛余生》，然后朱丽娅对梅尔说喜欢他的《女人要什么》，梅尔对朱丽娅说他喜欢《永不妥协》，再下来天晚了，他们就都回家去了。我想：这就是我一直所梦想的啊：与三五知己在家里进餐并谈论艺术。下面我很高兴地向大家介绍第一位颁奖嘉宾 — 凯瑟琳•泽塔-琼斯。