 zt-老外的电话留言
~~1~~ Hi. This is John.
嗨！我是约翰
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
如果你是电话公司的，我已付了款
If you are my parents, please send money.
如果你是我父母，请寄钱给我
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money.
如果你是经济资助、贷款机构的，你们给我的贷款不够使
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
如果你是我的朋友，你还欠我钱
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
如果你是位女士，请别担心，我的钱够用得很
~~2~~
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
我和我太太现在不能接电话
but if you'll leave your name and number,
但如果你留下姓名和电话号码
we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
我们俩完事以后就会回复你的了
~~3~~
We can't pick up the phone right now,
现在我们未能接你听的来电
because we're doing something we really enjoy.
因为我们正在做一些我们很享受的事
Sonya likes doing it up and down,
Sonya喜欢上上下下的做
and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly.
而我就喜欢左左右右的做…慢慢地
So leave a message,
所以，请留个口讯
and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.
当我们刷完牙后，我们就会覆你
~~4~~ You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy.
你越来越疲倦了，你的眼帘越来越重了
You feel very sleepy now.
你现在非常困
You are gradually losing your willpower
你的意志力正逐渐丧失
and your ability to resist suggestions.
你无法抗拒指示
When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave
your name, number, and a message.
当你听到声响后，你会无助地非留下姓名、电话和口讯不可。
~~5~~
Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is,
嗨，我不在家，但我的电话应答机在家
so you can talk to it instead.
所以，请改为跟它谈谈
Wait for the beep.
等待那beep的一声吧
~~6~~
Hello. I am David's answering machine.
你好，我是戴维的电话应答机
What are you?
你是什么东西
~~7~~
(From a Japanese man in Toronto:)
（来自多伦多的日本人）
He-ro! This is Sato.
哈啰！我是齐滕
If you leave message, I call you soon.
如你留下口讯，我会很快回复
If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!
如你留下色情口讯，我会更快回复
~~8~~
Hi! John's answering machine is broken.
嗨！约翰的电话应答机坏了
This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly,
我是他的雪柜，请说得慢一点
and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
我会用磁贴把你的口讯贴在我自己身上
~~9~~
Hello, this is Sally's microwave.
你好，我是莎莉的微波炉
Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck,
她的电话应答机跟录音带匣私奔出走了
so I'm stuck with taking her calls.
所以我留下来为她留口讯
Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message,
说吧。如果你留言时想烹煮任何东西的话
just hold it up to the phone.
只须递到电话旁
~~10~~
This is not an answering machine-
这并不是电话应答机
this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
这是传心术（心灵感应）记录装置
After the tone, think about your name, your
在声响后，想着你的姓名，你的…
reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
接触你，我会想着回复你的
~~11~~ A is for academics, B is for beer.
A是学院，B是啤酒
One of those reasons is why we're not here.
其中一个是我们不在这里的理由
So leave a message
所以，请留下口讯
~~12~~
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
请留下口讯。你有权保持缄默，然而
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
你所说的话将会纪录在案，并任凭我们处置 | 
